Urban neighborhoods are a tough thing to make right. It can be hard to attract businesses if the mix doesn't seem right. But, many neighborhoods find that if they become popular and successful, they have to worry about their success backfiring and having the very things that made it interesting get replaced by blander alternatives.
Leave it to The Onion to analyze the situation and highlight the real problems. One of the fake quotes sums up the fatigue of living in a real place burdened with real relationships: "It would be such a relief to walk in somewhere and have some disinterested college-age kid take my order without even making eye contact."